Skip to main content

SPARKS BRIEFS - Essential Stocking Stuffers


Now that the holiday season is upon us, we should be talking about Christmas parties and not political parties. In fact, any discussion of politics should be off the table and the elf should be on the shelf. 

Let’s get through December before the panic attack on January 20th.  This year pick up the gift that will brighten everyone’s 2017.  Give your #NEVERTRUMP family and friends the Popeil Pocket Lobotomy.
  
With a simple slice and a dice, you’ll be able to spend valuable holiday time without a single worry about a Trump Nation. In fact, you won’t remember who Trump is or where Washington, DC is located.

Spend long, relaxing hours staring into the fireplace and admiring your Christmas tree. You’ll be easily distracted by shiny objects and fire. In fact, your day’s will be worry-free and your night’s coma like.

The Popeil Pocket Lobotomy is completely portable and fits into most ordinary pockets. It comes complete with a sterilization wipe and an I.D. TAG in case you get lost on one of your new careless days.

There could be a few minor side effects like drooling and the inability to have a complete thought, but you’ll be completely unaware that an orange sociopath has the codes to nuclear weapons. Give the gift that will leave a lasting impression and a glassy-eyed stare. The Pocket Lobotomy makes a great stocking stuffer.

If permanent brain alteration seems like too much of an investment in the future, checkout the Ronco Meth-o-Matic Lab Kit.

Disorientation and a false sense of euphoria can be yours with this compact kit. Cook the stuff that dreams are made of from the convenience of your own kitchen. The more meth in your cabinets, the less you’ll worry about the Trump Cabinet. Nothing says lovin’ like crystal meth in the oven.

Act now and you’ll receive both the Pocket Lobotomy and the Meth-o-Matic for three easy payments of $19.99. Operators are standing by and quantities are limited. Have a Christmas you won’t remember and a holiday high you won’t forget.






Recent Posts

Summer Adventures Part 2 – The Backyard Backlot to Broadway

My childhood summers weren’t all the glitz and glamor of vacationing with cousins, wobbly shopping carts and bloody feet. Actually, most of my summer days were spent right at home in my yard. My parents never took a vacation. Our family never packed its bags and took off for other ports of call.I never boarded a plane, a boat, or a train for a family adventure. My adventures were self-created. They were products of an imaginative mind that could travel to the moon, ride the rapids in the Amazon Jungle and lead a battle for the Knights of the Round Table, all before a lunch of Spaghettios with a side of Hawaiian Punch.

I have always loved going to the movies. This helped provide the inspiration to my over active mind. The Saturday afternoon matinee was a childhood staple for me. The smell of fresh popcorn as you entered the lobby and the crisp cold air of the air-conditioned theater helped set the atmosphere on those hot, summer afternoons. I would get lost in the dark with my popcorn a…

Waking Up in Vegas - Happy 2014!

Neither, Gary or I, are really gamblers, so we try to find other activities to occupy our time when visiting Vegas. We have visited Red Rock, Hoover Dam and Valley of Fire State Park on previous visits. We had even traveled as far as Zion National Park in Utah, during an earlier stay. There are definitely natural beauties to discover while in Nevada, and they have nothing to do with showgirls or stripper poles.


This visit was about relaxation and ringing in the New Year, so we didn’t need to stray far from Vegas this time. We bought tickets for a concert featuring Kristin Chenoweth. She is a very talented singer and actress best known from Broadway shows, movies, and multiple guest appearances on GLEE.



The concert was on New Year’s Eve at the newly built Smith Center. Although she is about three feet tall, Kristin has a powerhouse voice. She sang songs from her career and, of course, sang one of my favorites “For Good” from WICKED. It was a great way to prepare for the countdown to mid…

Depression, Drugs & DNA

When diagnosed with Clinical Depression, my doctor recommended medication to help the illness. The art of medication management can challenge professionals who need to find the right drug and dosage that will be effective for treatment. It’s frustrating for patients combating the effects of depression when their medication doesn’t quite alleviate the symptoms. Part of this cocktail of drugs can also cause intolerable side effects
·Sleepiness
·Insomnia
·Dizziness
·Weight Gain

Mental Health - Destroy the Stigma

I believe that I am a fearless writer. I share my personal experiences, thoughts and beliefs. I’ve not been afraid to express my emotions. Self-expression is fundamental to writing. I am a man of my words
Recently, I became concerned that my blogs about depression and mental health might shape my reader’s opinions of me in a negative way.The more I thought about it, I realized that I had internalized the stigma that surrounds mental health.
Stigma is defined as “a mark of disgrace or infamy.” The word bears a negative connotation and it devalues the person to whom the stigma is applied. While the conversation about mental health is receiving a larger forum, damaging misconceptions are widespread.
According to surveys, there are between 42.5-46 million adults in the US that have some type of mental illness. Statistics show that one in four adults experience mental illness in a given year. These numbers of individuals are all impacted in some manner by the stigma that still surrounds ment…

The King of Costumes

When Halloween draws near every year, I think of my grandmother.It wasn’t that she was a cackling, hump-backed witch or shaped like a fat pumpkin. My grandmother was a small woman with graying hair and bifocals, a typical grandmother image. She was “Nana” to the family. There were no casting of spells or broom riding over the harvest moon. That’s not why she comes to mind. It’s the fact that she made Halloween a special holiday for me. You see, in my neighborhood my grandmother made me a costume connoisseur.



Every October, all my classmates rushed to Woolworths to select their Halloween garb. You might remember those rows of costumes with the brightly colored masks peering from the cellophane window on the box lid. These types of costumes make every child look like a cardboard cutout of their favorite cartoon character. If I wanted to be Batman, I wanted a real utility belt not a stamped on flammable material version. Remember this was the 60’s, so a swipe of costume fabric across a li…