Skip to main content


Showing posts from July, 2023

The Worst of Times

There’s the best of times, there’s the worst of times. Mostly, it’s the worst. I’m talking Times Square. The place where the ball drops on New Year’s Eve. We all think Times Square is the place to be in NYC. Actually, it’s nothing but a brightly lit tourist trap on steroids.     Being in the center of Times Square is like being a mouse in the electronics department at Best Buy. You’re surrounded by thousands of beady eyes all fixated on the surrounding LED and Jumbotron screens while fellow rodents step on your tail trying to get a better view.    They say New York is so nice they “named it twice.” But, you won’t mention Times Square twice, unless you’re making a 911 call.    “Hello 911, how can I assist you?” “Help, I’m in Times Square.” “What’s the problem?” “I’m in Times Square.”   Around 1892 the area now known as Times Square was the center for the horse carriage industry. It was called Longacre Square. This was way before Elmo and the Naked Cowboy immigrated to Manhattan.    Evid

The Job I Didn't Know I Had

  I have several part-time jobs. Call me crazy but I don’t remember the application process or the interview. There was no offer letter or a benefits package. I work a flexible schedule. Whenever I decide to show up, I’m on the clock.   I ’m moonlighting at Shoprite, Target, Michael’s, Home Depot, Lowes, Walmart and occasionally some random store like CVS with one employee stocking shelves. It seems as if most big-box stores have decided the shopping experience should include self-checkout. I must bring my own shopping bags, peruse the store and work the registers.  They put in self-checkout lanes as if it’s a perk we’ve been denied.  Dear Shopper,   We’ve read your suggestions from our nonstop email surveys. We’re happy to say we’ve determined you don’t have enough to do navigating our stores, scanning each item with our extra savings phone app, and choreographing your aisle movements to avoid the fellow shopper who’s knocked down four store displays maneuvering a shopping cart, the s

TATTLE TALES: The Real Dirt on Snow

  This is a transcript of the interrogation of the infamous Dwarf Seven who are implicated in the disappearance and possible death of the Princess Snow White.   August 8, Once Upon a Time   Present: The Dwarf Seven: Bear, Otter, Twink, Jock, Diva, Daddy & Chub Interrogator: Constable, Jack B. Nimble Stenographer: Retta Riding Hood   Constable Jack : This is official dwarf testimony in the case of the missing Princess, Snow White. This crime was first brought to my attention when it was reported a body had been stolen from a glass casket in the Enchanted Forest. The Three Little Pig Detectives responded to the anonymous tip which lead to the residence of the Dwarf Seven.   Daddy will act as the spokes-dwarf for the group. Although, all dwarfs are encouraged to corroborate the details. I plan to separate the fact from the fiction of this tale. Please share how you came to know the Princess Snow White.   Daddy Dwarf:  The manic princess broke into our Enchanted Forest cottage. She tra