According to a source close to the Clinton campaign, Hillary’s been practicing for tonight’s debate in a locker room. An undisclosed Las Vegas high school has been the scene of intense preparation for the final showdown between Trump and Clinton. “Hillary wanted to ascertain if what her opponent calls ‘Locker Room Talk’ is really as offensive as his lewd remarks on a bus,” a source told us. Clinton has spent five days surrounded by sneakers, damp towels and Axe body spray. Twice her prep was interrupted by some towel snapping and a temper tantrum from the football team’s mascot. “Hillary was outraged when she overheard the soccer coach tell his team that he couldn’t wait to get home to play with his pussy,” the source confirmed. It was discovered that the coach in question had a new Siamese kitten and the team had bought some cat toys for “Mr. Mittens.” Campaign officials hung several suggestive posters in the locker room trying to bait any unsuspec
The American Psychiatric Association announced a new seasonal disorder that is affecting millions across the country – Pumpkin Spice Traumatic Disorder (PSTD). Sufferers of PSTD are stricken every fall when Pumpkin Spice is released across the nation. Limited editions of hundreds of products are created containing the pumpkin spice flavor and scent. This causes pumpkin enthusiasts to go out of their gourds trying to buy up all these items.