San Francisco, CA – Each year everyone receives the same platitude— “Happy Birthday!” As with all humans on the planet, we’ve taken a trip through the birth canal. We’re yanked into a harsh world feeling cold, limp and definitely uncoordinated. There are no gifts or a cake with candles. The event is our physical ‘Birthday Day.’ All years following are just the anniversaries of the day we were born. We’re never truly born again. Unless, of course, we donate to Johnny Hallelujah’s Ministry of Mother Mary Bejesus, Son of God, Who saved Mary Magdalene from Prostitution and Hang Out with Seven Apostles, Baptist Church and Theme Park. Then spiritually you’re born again. You’ll also receive a lifetime pass to the Escape from Sodom and Gomorrah Water Slide. If you’re not into religion, it’s now possible to reexperience your first birthday. The Welcoming Womb Rebirth Center, in San Francisco, just opened its doors ten centimeters. Jovan Musk, Elon’s sister, is the CEO and creator of the Ce
There’s the best of times, there’s the worst of times. Mostly, it’s the worst. I’m talking Times Square. The place where the ball drops on New Year’s Eve. We all think Times Square is the place to be in NYC. Actually, it’s nothing but a brightly lit tourist trap on steroids. Being in the center of Times Square is like being a mouse in the electronics department at Best Buy. You’re surrounded by thousands of beady eyes all fixated on the surrounding LED and Jumbotron screens while fellow rodents step on your tail trying to get a better view. They say New York is so nice they “named it twice.” But, you won’t mention Times Square twice, unless you’re making a 911 call. “Hello 911, how can I assist you?” “Help, I’m in Times Square.” “What’s the problem?” “I’m in Times Square.” Around 1892 the area now known as Times Square was the center for the horse carriage industry. It was called Longacre Square. This was way before Elmo and the Naked Cowboy immigrated to Manhattan. Evid