Skip to main content

All Dolled Up!

For quite awhile now my partner, Gary, has been telling me I should start a blog. Telling me that I have a talent for writing, and I do have a good sense of humor about life, etc. etc. etc. I never really saw it that way, since I tend to be on the opposite end of the self-confidence scale.

My scales are always tipped toward the black hole of self-doubt. It is like "who the hell am I to have anything to say, and who would care if I said it." I did decide to give it some thought - well a lot of thought actually, and it seems that we are in a point in time where everyone has something to say. Let's face it who really cares about the Kardashians, TMZ, Honey Bo Bo or the Real Housewives of any place. It is a lot of static across the electronic media, but people do seem to listen and get involved. It is like rubber necking at an accident where you kind of want to see the bloody stump, but know you will be grossed out and traumatized if you do.

Several months ago,  I was shopping in Target - one of my favorite places - and I was strolling through the toy aisles, as I often do, and I was taken by surprise "gasp"! There on one of the shelves in the doll aisle was a replica of me as a Cabbage Patch Kid. I was staring at myself through clear cellophane. My arms were out-stretched and my plastic smile was saying "Buy Me!!! I have to go home with you."
I grabbed the yellow and green box and headed for the checkout.  I had to buy my minime, my doll-pal-ganger. The woman at the checkout asked if I wanted a gift receipt. I guess she was assuming that some child was having a birthday, or I was being a thoughtful uncle - yeah right!  Couldn't she see the uncanny resemblance of the doll to the man clutching his ATM card in anticipation of the sale. I carried my precious purchase to the car and ripped open the box to free my plastic clone from his confines.  The smell of baby powder wafted to my nostrils and I was filled with paternal pride. His adoption papers informed me that I had just taken custody of Bo Cason - the name sounds like a future CMA winner.

There was only a slight issue, and that was the outfit that my look-a-like was dressed in. I could accept the jeans, but the cowboy t-shirt and the boots were certainly not anything I would have chosen for my tiny twin. He is a little bit country and not enough rock and roll. Let it be clearly stated that "clothes don't make the clone." So far, Toys r Us has not started selling Prada for Cabbage Patch, but a Onesie from Tom Ford could do wonders.

I now realize that I am special. I have my own look-a-like Cabbage Patch doll. My alter plastic ego that exudes confidence with a 24/7 toothy smile. So take that Kim Kardashian, while you are having to clean up the southern half of North, I will be sipping vodka martinis with Bo Cason.  I am now ready to take on the world with my trusty sidekick, and if anyone doubts me it is the doll's fault.

Comments

Post a Comment

Recent Posts

Waking Up in Vegas - Happy 2014!

Neither, Gary or I, are really gamblers, so we try to find other activities to occupy our time when visiting Vegas. We have visited Red Rock, Hoover Dam and Valley of Fire State Park on previous visits. We had even traveled as far as Zion National Park in Utah, during an earlier stay. There are definitely natural beauties to discover while in Nevada, and they have nothing to do with showgirls or stripper poles. This visit was about relaxation and ringing in the New Year, so we didn’t need to stray far from Vegas this time. We bought tickets for a concert featuring Kristin Chenoweth. She is a very talented singer and actress best known from Broadway shows, movies, and multiple guest appearances on GLEE. The concert was on New Year’s Eve at the newly built Smith Center. Although she is about three feet tall, Kristin has a powerhouse voice. She sang songs from her career and, of course, sang one of my favorites “For Good” from WICKED. It was a great way to

Mental Health - Destroy the Stigma

I believe that I am a fearless writer. I share my personal experiences, thoughts and beliefs. I’ve not been afraid to express my emotions. Self-expression is fundamental to writing. I am a man of my words Recently, I became concerned that my blogs about depression and mental health might shape my reader’s opinions of me in a negative way.   The more I thought about it, I realized that I had internalized the stigma that surrounds mental health. Stigma is defined as “a mark of disgrace or infamy.” The word bears a negative connotation and it devalues the person to whom the stigma is applied. While the conversation about mental health is receiving a larger forum, damaging misconceptions are widespread. According to surveys, there are between 42.5-46 million adults in the US that have some type of mental illness.   Statistics show that one in four adults experience mental illness in a given year. These numbers of individuals are all impacted in some manner by the sti

Summer Adventures Part 2 – The Backyard Backlot to Broadway

  My childhood summers weren’t all the glitz and glamor of vacationing with cousins, wobbly shopping carts and bloody feet. Actually, most of my summer days were spent right at home in my yard. My parents never took a vacation. Our family never packed its bags and took off for other ports of call.   I never boarded a plane, a boat, or a train for a family adventure. My adventures were self-created. They were products of an imaginative mind that could travel to the moon, ride the rapids in the Amazon Jungle and lead a battle for the Knights of the Round Table, all before a lunch of Spaghettios with a side of Hawaiian Punch . I have always loved going to the movies. This helped provide the inspiration to my over active mind. The Saturday afternoon matinee was a childhood staple for me. The smell of fresh popcorn as you entered the lobby and the crisp cold air of the air-conditioned theater helped set the atmosphere on those hot, summer afternoons. I would get lost in the dark with

Depression, Drugs & DNA

When diagnosed with Clinical Depression, my doctor recommended medication to help the illness. The art of medication management can challenge professionals who need to find the right drug and dosage that will be effective for treatment. It’s frustrating for patients combating the effects of depression when their medication doesn’t quite alleviate the symptoms. Part of this cocktail of drugs can also cause intolerable side effects ·       Sleepiness ·       Insomnia ·       Dizziness ·       Weight Gain ·       Headaches ·       Increased Anxiety ·       Sexual Problems ·       Nausea The feeling of hopelessness and frustration is just compounded when you’re waiting for relief that never really arrives. There are so many drugs available for the treatment of depression. It can be daunting to find the right one for you. I feel that I have taken the PDR of depression medications. There’s always been the chase for the one that would tu

Communication - The Art of Words

I read a posting, a few weeks ago, that the song “Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode was celebrating its 25 th anniversary. The song, released in 1990, speaks of how you can be beyond words. It relays the message that there are times when words can’t describe feelings or emotions and seem inconsequential. I do understand when people say that something is “indescribable.” We all have moments when we just want silence and time to appreciate the world beyond words.   A feeling or an emotion can be hard to verbalize at times, but are we ever beyond words? We have to realize that if we want a space of non-communication we have to communicate that. We can’t “Enjoy the Silence” unless we can tell everyone we want silence.   For people to know we are at a loss for words, we have to tell them that. Everything we say and do lies in communication. We could not function as a community or a society without it. We don’t stop to contemplate that our whole world is created fro