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The Heart of Valentine's Day

I just looked at my calendar and realized that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I don’t really pay attention to the day when that little “f***ker” in the diaper shoots arrows into the hearts of those who can only show love on February 14th.  We shouldn’t have to be reminded to express our love for someone.

What is the big deal with Valentine’s Day? Shouldn’t real love be a constant thing? Shouldn’t we be saying “I Love You” to all those in our lives as often as we can? If you feel the need to over express in February what you should have been saying the rest of the year, you need to examine your definition of love.

We should spread love around to all those people we hold in our hearts, and it should happen everyday. I don’t feel the need to wait for the “Holiday of Love.” Love doesn’t need to come in the form of perfume-scented cards, undies for two, the Snuggie of Love, or a giant Mylar heart. It should be in gestures we do everyday. It is much more meaningful to display your love in daily doses, or to say it in the moment.

Don’t let marketers and merchandisers decide when it is appropriate to display love. We buy into this holiday of hearts and a flowers like it’s the love lottery, and we are waiting for the Powerball of passion. Go into any gift, flower or candy shop and you’ll see a giant explosion of red and pink. It’s a Pepto Bismol, cherry cough syrup world of love. Imagine Mary Kay and the Red Hat Society are having a joint convention.  It’s the day of hearts. In fact, look around there are more hearts than a cardiac intensive care unit.

A dozen over-priced roses can set you back a month’s car payment, and that giant heart-shaped box of chocolates needs to be delivered in a minivan. Giving that twenty-five pound box of Godiva is your way of saying, “Honey, I love you enough to give you diabetes.” Let’s all overcompensate because of our inability to convey emotions the other 364 days of the year.

In our society many men are taught they should be stoic and tough. It shows weakness to be overly emotional and express feelings. It’s a cave man mentality of throw her a T-Rex hindquarter and pull her by the hair. Maybe that’s where Valentine’s Day first started. Every February 14th the Cro-Magnon man would throw a boulder at the Cro-Magnon woman and she would realize that was her partner.

They could only throw the boulder once a year, or they would kill her. Only, the gesture didn’t need to be overstated, and knock her off her feet. They could have given her a pebble everyday or held her mud covered Cro-Magnon hand. It is the little, constant gestures that matter, not the big annual display, that shows you don’t now how to relate except for an official holiday telling you it’s time to relate.

I’m not a cynic and I love holidays just as much as everyone else. I guess I just don’t see the need for Valentine’s Day. Love and romance are special and shouldn’t be left for a cold day in the dead of winter. If it has to be on the calendar of holidays, it should be a blip on the radar of giving love to those special relationships in your lives. It shouldn’t be a giant, over-marketed altar of gushing rose scented, lace-covered, chocolate love. Live for love everyday and let Hallmark concentrate on Easter.



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