Skip to main content

The Heart of Valentine's Day


I just looked at my calendar and realized that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I don’t really pay attention to the day when that little “f***ker” in the diaper shoots arrows into the hearts of those who can only show love on February 14th.  We shouldn’t have to be reminded to express our love for someone.

What is the big deal with Valentine’s Day? Shouldn’t real love be a constant thing? Shouldn’t we be saying “I Love You” to all those in our lives as often as we can? If you feel the need to over express in February what you should have been saying the rest of the year, you need to examine your definition of love.

We should spread love around to all those people we hold in our hearts, and it should happen everyday. I don’t feel the need to wait for the “Holiday of Love.” Love doesn’t need to come in the form of perfume-scented cards, undies for two, the Snuggie of Love, or a giant Mylar heart. It should be in gestures we do everyday. It is much more meaningful to display your love in daily doses, or to say it in the moment.


Don’t let marketers and merchandisers decide when it is appropriate to display love. We buy into this holiday of hearts and a flowers like it’s the love lottery, and we are waiting for the Powerball of passion. Go into any gift, flower or candy shop and you’ll see a giant explosion of red and pink. It’s a Pepto Bismol, cherry cough syrup world of love. Imagine Mary Kay and the Red Hat Society are having a joint convention.  It’s the day of hearts. In fact, look around there are more hearts than a cardiac intensive care unit.

A dozen over-priced roses can set you back a month’s car payment, and that giant heart-shaped box of chocolates needs to be delivered in a minivan. Giving that twenty-five pound box of Godiva is your way of saying, “Honey, I love you enough to give you diabetes.” Let’s all overcompensate because of our inability to convey emotions the other 364 days of the year.

In our society many men are taught they should be stoic and tough. It shows weakness to be overly emotional and express feelings. It’s a cave man mentality of throw her a T-Rex hindquarter and pull her by the hair. Maybe that’s where Valentine’s Day first started. Every February 14th the Cro-Magnon man would throw a boulder at the Cro-Magnon woman and she would realize that was her partner.

They could only throw the boulder once a year, or they would kill her. Only, the gesture didn’t need to be overstated, and knock her off her feet. They could have given her a pebble everyday or held her mud covered Cro-Magnon hand. It is the little, constant gestures that matter, not the big annual display, that shows you don’t now how to relate except for an official holiday telling you it’s time to relate.

I’m not a cynic and I love holidays just as much as everyone else. I guess I just don’t see the need for Valentine’s Day. Love and romance are special and shouldn’t be left for a cold day in the dead of winter. If it has to be on the calendar of holidays, it should be a blip on the radar of giving love to those special relationships in your lives. It shouldn’t be a giant, over-marketed altar of gushing rose scented, lace-covered, chocolate love. Live for love everyday and let Hallmark concentrate on Easter.


HAPPY VD SPREAD IT AROUND!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Recent Posts

Waking Up in Vegas - Happy 2014!

Neither, Gary or I, are really gamblers, so we try to find other activities to occupy our time when visiting Vegas. We have visited Red Rock, Hoover Dam and Valley of Fire State Park on previous visits. We had even traveled as far as Zion National Park in Utah, during an earlier stay. There are definitely natural beauties to discover while in Nevada, and they have nothing to do with showgirls or stripper poles. This visit was about relaxation and ringing in the New Year, so we didn’t need to stray far from Vegas this time. We bought tickets for a concert featuring Kristin Chenoweth. She is a very talented singer and actress best known from Broadway shows, movies, and multiple guest appearances on GLEE. The concert was on New Year’s Eve at the newly built Smith Center. Although she is about three feet tall, Kristin has a powerhouse voice. She sang songs from her career and, of course, sang one of my favorites “For Good” from WICKED. It was a great way to
7 comments
Read more

Mental Health - Destroy the Stigma

I believe that I am a fearless writer. I share my personal experiences, thoughts and beliefs. I’ve not been afraid to express my emotions. Self-expression is fundamental to writing. I am a man of my words Recently, I became concerned that my blogs about depression and mental health might shape my reader’s opinions of me in a negative way.   The more I thought about it, I realized that I had internalized the stigma that surrounds mental health. Stigma is defined as “a mark of disgrace or infamy.” The word bears a negative connotation and it devalues the person to whom the stigma is applied. While the conversation about mental health is receiving a larger forum, damaging misconceptions are widespread. According to surveys, there are between 42.5-46 million adults in the US that have some type of mental illness.   Statistics show that one in four adults experience mental illness in a given year. These numbers of individuals are all impacted in some manner by the sti
12 comments
Read more

Summer Adventures Part 2 – The Backyard Backlot to Broadway

  My childhood summers weren’t all the glitz and glamor of vacationing with cousins, wobbly shopping carts and bloody feet. Actually, most of my summer days were spent right at home in my yard. My parents never took a vacation. Our family never packed its bags and took off for other ports of call.   I never boarded a plane, a boat, or a train for a family adventure. My adventures were self-created. They were products of an imaginative mind that could travel to the moon, ride the rapids in the Amazon Jungle and lead a battle for the Knights of the Round Table, all before a lunch of Spaghettios with a side of Hawaiian Punch . I have always loved going to the movies. This helped provide the inspiration to my over active mind. The Saturday afternoon matinee was a childhood staple for me. The smell of fresh popcorn as you entered the lobby and the crisp cold air of the air-conditioned theater helped set the atmosphere on those hot, summer afternoons. I would get lost in the dark with
2 comments
Read more

Depression, Drugs & DNA

When diagnosed with Clinical Depression, my doctor recommended medication to help the illness. The art of medication management can challenge professionals who need to find the right drug and dosage that will be effective for treatment. It’s frustrating for patients combating the effects of depression when their medication doesn’t quite alleviate the symptoms. Part of this cocktail of drugs can also cause intolerable side effects ·       Sleepiness ·       Insomnia ·       Dizziness ·       Weight Gain ·       Headaches ·       Increased Anxiety ·       Sexual Problems ·       Nausea The feeling of hopelessness and frustration is just compounded when you’re waiting for relief that never really arrives. There are so many drugs available for the treatment of depression. It can be daunting to find the right one for you. I feel that I have taken the PDR of depression medications. There’s always been the chase for the one that would tu
3 comments
Read more

Communication - The Art of Words

I read a posting, a few weeks ago, that the song “Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode was celebrating its 25 th anniversary. The song, released in 1990, speaks of how you can be beyond words. It relays the message that there are times when words can’t describe feelings or emotions and seem inconsequential. I do understand when people say that something is “indescribable.” We all have moments when we just want silence and time to appreciate the world beyond words.   A feeling or an emotion can be hard to verbalize at times, but are we ever beyond words? We have to realize that if we want a space of non-communication we have to communicate that. We can’t “Enjoy the Silence” unless we can tell everyone we want silence.   For people to know we are at a loss for words, we have to tell them that. Everything we say and do lies in communication. We could not function as a community or a society without it. We don’t stop to contemplate that our whole world is created fro
8 comments
Read more